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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903293">Five Force Connections Between Crait and Pasaana</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyadsaber/pseuds/dyadsaber'>dyadsaber</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 Things, 5 Times, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Kylo Ren is ALWAYS frustrating, Mutual Pining, competitive dyad is competitive, five times fic, force bonds are very frustrating sometimes, gratuitous abuse of my memory of Galaxy's Edge, one emotionally messy dyad to be exact</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:01:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyadsaber/pseuds/dyadsaber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The last time they saw each other, he had just led the attack on the Resistance forces on Crait, and she shut a door in his face.  But the Force is still connecting them, and as they learn more about their connection and each other, it's impossible for either half of the dyad to deny the bond they share.</p><p>This is my attempt to bridge the gap between TLJ and TROS and explore the evolution of Rey and Kylo's dyad connection.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>REYLO WEEK 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Reminder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He doesn’t see her for a month after the Battle of Crait. It’s the longest they’ve gone without appearing to each other since the Force started connecting them, and Kylo wonders if something has changed, or if she’s found a way to keep herself from him.  He is certainly doing nothing to keep himself from her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey is meditating when she appears. Her legs are crossed, her forearms resting lightly on her knees, her eyes half-focused.  He’s sitting at the sleek black desk in his new quarters, looking over the most promising reports of Resistance activity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it,” she commands, scrambling to her feet.  She doesn’t move toward him, though.  In the room where he is, she stands with her back against the wall.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know I’m not doing this,” he says. He’s half relieved to see her, half angry at himself for being relieved.  He lets his anger rise as he stands, steps around the desk, and comes to stand toe to toe with her.  “Do you think I want you here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think I care what you want?” she shoots back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have before.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reminder shakes both of them, but Rey is quick to answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was before you chose the path you did, before you killed a second person </span>
  <em>
    <span>who loved you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her grief for Luke is still fresh, and her voice cracks at the end.  He shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t kill Luke Skywalker.  He over-extended himself.  He knew the risks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He gave his life so we could escape.  It was selfless,” she insists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was unnecessary,” he snaps.  “If you’d just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop fighting me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>all of this would end.” He puts one hand on the wall next to her head and leans over her as close as he can without touching her. (He’s not sure what will happen if he touches her again, and doesn’t want to find out right now.) “You’re only delaying the inevitable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns up her chin and defiantly declares, “I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>stop fighting you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Supreme Leader.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to his quarters beeps and slides open, and an Admiral flanked by two stormtroopers is about to step inside, but Kylo snaps his head around and flings out an arm, throwing all three of them back into the hallway.  He closes his fingers to slam the door shut again, but when he looks back down, she’s gone, leaving an empty space exactly her size between him and the wall. </span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <span>Her absence hits him like a blow to the chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought is unbidden and unwelcome. He bangs his fist against the paneling hard enough to leave a dent, then throws the doors open.  The troopers are helping the Admiral stand.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll ask for permission before entering next time,” he says. “Now, tell me what you’ve found.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> He dreams they are back in Snoke’s throne room, circling each other, lightsabers ignited.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The full fury of the Dark Side roars in his blood as he presses the attack, and she is there to meet him, their lightsabers throwing off sparks as they clash.  She blocks a vicious blow that would have split her from neck to hip, and they snarl at each other from either side of their crossed blades.  While she is still pushing against the force of his blow, he turns off his lightsaber and drops to one knee so that her suddenly wild swing passes over him.  He ignites it again as he stands and drives it through her, just below her breastbone.  Her scream is full of pain and loss… and triumph.  She has mirrored him, driving her own lightsaber through his chest, so hard he feels the hilt against his ribs. The pain is sharp and searing, and he drops to the floor, holding her against him as they fall.  Their weapons have gone dark, and their blood is pooling together in the dust.  As he feels life ebb from him, the dream shifts and they are not dying in Snoke’s sleek red and black chamber, but a crumbling, cavernous ruin.    </em>
</p><p>He gasps for breath as he wakes.  His quarters are dark, except for the door controls glowing dully across the room.  He half-laughs, half sobs with relief. He is alive, and so is Rey.</p><p>A startled sound he did not make comes from the opposite side of his bed, and he hits the button that brings up the night light directly overhead.  </p><p><em>Rey is here. </em>She is sitting with her back against the wall at the foot of his bed, and she’s been crying. She blinks in the light, and when she sees him, she pulls her knees up against her chest. </p><p>“You’re all right,” he says quietly. </p><p>She grabs at her resistance-issue blanket, bringing it up under her arms.  She’s not naked. She’s wearing a loose tan shirt, so he doesn’t understand why she needs to cover herself, but it seems to make her relax. </p><p>“Did you dream it too?” He knows he’s staring, but he can never look away from her when they’re brought together like this. </p><p>“Tell me what you dreamed, and I’ll tell you if it was the same,” she offers. </p><p>He nods and meets her eyes.  It is easier than it should be to let her see him so unguarded. </p><p>“We killed each other.  Lightsabers through the chest.” His voice only breaks a little as he says it, and he can see from the way her eyes widen that his theory was correct. </p><p>“You still broke my fall when we went down,” she adds. She squeezes her eyes shut, and fresh tears roll down her face.  </p><p>For a moment, he has the mad instinct to reach across the bed and pull her to him, let her curl up against his side and cry into his shoulder. But that would break the unspoken agreement they have not to touch each other, and he’s not sure what she would do if he tried. </p><p>“I remember,” he says.  He can still feel her hand clutching at his arm to steady herself as they fell. </p><p>“We’ve never shared a dream before,” Rey says.  “I don’t like it.  Knowing that you dream those things.”</p><p>He narrows his eyes.  “Maybe it was <em> your </em> dream.  That you shared with <em> me. </em>Or maybe it came from both of us, or from the Force.  But even if it was mine, we can’t help what we dream.  No one can.” </p><p>“I know,” she says.  Her voice is small and far away.  She wipes a hand across her wet cheek. “What we did to each other in the dream… it isn’t what I want.  That’s not the end I want for us.” </p><p>“You <em> know </em> it’s not the end I want,” he reminds her. </p><p>It’s Rey’s turn to narrow her eyes. “Do I?” </p><p>Her words, while less deadly than a lightsaber, still hurt.  He reaches for anger to mask the pain, but the most he can manage is half-hearted petulance. </p><p>“If you don’t, you haven’t been paying attention,” he snaps.   </p><p>She crosses her arms over her chest and turns her body just enough that she can glare into the metal wall to the left of him. </p><p>“You can ignore me, but it won’t make me go away,” he reminds her.  “You’ve tried that.” </p><p>She throws her hands up in frustration and brings one fist down hard on a pillow that he can see next to her as soon as she touches it. </p><p>“I don’t know what else we have to say to each other, so I thought we’d just… wait it out,” she says.  “But if you want to talk, <em> let’s talk. </em>” She leans forward, elbows on her knees.  “What do you want us to do? Share how our days went? Or keep having an argument neither of us can win?” </p><p>He doesn’t want to fight with her.  He is <em> so tired </em>of fighting with her.  So instead, he asks, “I can’t see anything about where you are.  Are you safe?” </p><p>She lets out a short, bitter laugh.  “Are you really asking me that?  I guess if you mean, ‘Are you warm and well fed,’ then… yes. I am.  But I’m not <em> safe. </em> None of us are, not while <em> your </em>First Order is still hunting us.”</p><p>“Every person in the Order knows they’ll answer to me if they touch you,” he says.  It’s the truth.  He’s made sure that every pilot, every soldier, every lowly dishwasher knows her face, knows that their Supreme Leader will destroy anyone who harms her instead of bringing her to him.  </p><p>She smiles, but it’s a sad smile that doesn’t touch her eyes.  “It’s not just about <em> me, </em> Ben.” </p><p>“I know,” he says.  He ignores the name she used, proud of himself for not flinching when she says it.  “It’s about the entire galaxy leaving the past behind for a future that <em> you and I </em>could create.” He believe this.  The darkness, the fear, the pain, all means to an end: power that he now understands was meant to be shared with her.  Power to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. </p><p>She rolls her eyes. “I’m not talking about this again, and certainly not right now.” She pulls the blanket up over her chest again, as though suddenly realizing she’d let it slip. She pauses, then flicks her eyes over him quickly. They soften into an unreadable expression. “What about you? Are you… safe?” Her lips quirk up in a near smile, “Any boring First Order meetings today?” </p><p>“I’m well protected here, and if you think I’m going to tell you anything about our plans…” he stops in mid sentence and sees the look on her face - wide-eyed and <em>amused</em>.  She was <em>teasing </em>him.  For a moment, his lips twitch up into a half-smile. Rey looks like she’s about to laugh, and he’s ready to laugh along with her.  But instead, her face falls and she closes her eyes and shakes her head, suddenly somber. </p><p>“I don’t want do this any more,” she says.  Where a moment ago, he was sensing mirth from her, he now feels shame tinged with regret and the ache of loss.  “Please.  How do we stop…” she gestures at the space between them. </p><p>He has an idea, but he almost doesn’t share it.  Part of him wants to let the Force hold them here together until they are interrupted or the connection breaks on its own, and part of him likes to see that she is suffering just as much as he is.  But her pain is close and sharp while she’s with him, and he can feel real, seething anger rising in him to meet it. He doesn’t want her to see him like that.  Not tonight.  He takes a deep breath, tamps the anger down. </p><p>“Were you awake before we connected?  You were crying when you got here, and it looked like you’d been doing it for a while.” </p><p>“I wasn’t the only one who was upset by that dream.  I know how it made <em> you </em>feel, too,” Rey shoots back, then adds, “Not for very long.  Thirty, forty seconds, maybe.  Why?”</p><p>“Because you were here the second I woke up, and that means even though we’d just shared a dream, the Force didn’t connect us <em> until we were both awake.” </em>  </p><p>“So if even one of us falls asleep, it might break the connection,” Rey adds.  </p><p>“That’s what I’m hoping.” He reaches up and turns out the light, plunging his room into darkness. “You should do this where you are, too, if you can.” </p><p>He can feel rather than see the aggravation rolling off of her at the obvious suggestion.  “I know.  I did.  So… now I’m just supposed to… pretend like I’m alone.  Try to fall asleep like you’re not there.” </p><p>He stretches out on his back, very carefully keeping to the side of the bed she’s not on. “That’s what I’m doing.”  He’s acting like it’s easy.  It’s not. He can hear her move, hear the rustle of blankets against her body, and he can hear her breathing.  How something so quiet can be so loud he has no idea, and he wonders how long they can go on like this - both awake, both pretending not to be.  If this doesn’t work, he wonders how quickly he could get his hands on enough liquor to knock him unconscious for a few hours. </p><p>Eventually, he recognizes the slow, measured pattern of Rey’s breathing as an old Jedi meditation exercise, and the familiarity is like an invitation.  Without thinking, he falls into it with her.    Their chests rise and fall together in the darkness five, ten, fifteen times, and between one breath and the next, she’s gone.  He is alone.   Just before he follows her into sleep, he reaches out to where she was and grabs and fistful of the cold blanket.  He’s still holding it when he wakes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Security Risk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rey moves through the forms deliberately.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be swift without hurrying. Anticipate without overthinking. Let your motion begin and end in stillness. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The words that had at first seemed frustratingly contradictory are beginning to make sense, and she feels the Force flowing through her, clear and bright, as she moves through the forms again, faster this time, then a third time faster still, adding a flourish at the end just for the joy of it.  She’s missed the feel of the lightsaber in her hands, and the newly repaired kyber crystal has held up well over the past few days.  She’s about to switch on the training droid when her communicator crackles in her bag.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...final notice that the all-staff intelligence briefing will start in fifteen minutes.  All personnel…” the communicator loses signal for a moment and the operator’s voice hiccups. “...will be provided,” she says when she comes back.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turns off her lightsaber.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Final notice? What about all of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>other </span>
  </em>
  <span>notices?” she grumbles.  Her communicator crackles weakly, and she knows the answer.  She takes note of her position so she can report the signal gap to the comms team before grabbing her bag from the tree limb where it’s hanging.  It’s a long run back to base, and she doesn’t have much time, so she plunges into the deepening twilight of Aljan Kloss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The briefing has already started when she arrives.  With so many people off-planet flying reconnaissance and supply runs, almost everyone on base fits into the cave that doubles as mess hall and assembly area.  She’s on the outer edge of the crowd, and she spots Poe and Finn across the room, wearing matching concerned frowns.  Leia is standing on a raised platform with a group of intelligence officers (half of whom are also comms officers or pilots - everyone in the Resistance does at least two jobs, Rey has found). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...and so, having compared the transmission we all heard last night against the few existing recordings of the Emperor, the vocal markers appear to be the same,” an intelligence officer is saying.  A rush of whispers breaks out in the crowd, but dies down quickly when Leia gives the loudest people a sharp look. “But we need more time. We haven’t even had the message for a whole rotation yet, so we can’t rule out a sophisticated forgery.  It could be a tactic by the First Order to spread fear and squash dissent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This sets off another rush of conversation that only calms when Leia raised her voice and says, “And now, Commander D’Acy has some information on First Order Troop movements at the time of the broadcast…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the Commander begins her comments, Rey goes stiff.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>This can’t be happening.  Not now.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>She sneaks a peek to her left, and then snaps her eyes front.  Kylo Ren is walking purposefully towards her from a dimly lit part of the cave.  He’s fully dressed, for which she’s grateful.  When he’s a few meters away, he stops mid-stride and looks her up and down.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not alone,” he says, stepping into the light.  He comes to stand beside her and turns his head to follow her line of sight.  “Is that why you’re ignoring me?  What is this?  Some sort of meeting?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey clenches her jaw and makes a little shushing motion with her left hand, hoping that no one else notices.  Luckily, all eyes seem to be on the speaker, who is now gesturing at a diagram of First Order troop placements in key systems, the chrono markers set to the time that the mysterious message went out to every receiver in the galaxy. </span>
</p>
<p><span>He ignores her attempts to keep him quiet. “It’s about the Emperor’s message, isn’t it.”  He looks thoughtful for a moment.  “I heard it too.  So did every ship in my fleet.”  She’s annoyed that he’s right, but tries not to show it.  Let him talk.  After all, he’s just given her some useful information, and she’s not sure he realizes it.  If he’s only just heard</span> <span>it, then… the Emperor isn’t working with the First Order, or at least he isn’t working with its “Supreme Leader.” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re worried, but not afraid,” he observes.  “And you shouldn’t be.  Palpatine is the past.  A weak old man, probably gone to ground in Wild Space.”  The disdain in his voice is palpable, and Rey is more sure than ever that as infuriating and terrible as he may be, he is not lying to her. He is as surprised as she is at the Emperor’s transmission.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She risks a whisper.  She’s not standing near enough to anyone that they’d be able to hear her, and he’s standing so close that she can feel his breath on her hair.  “What are you going to do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll know when I do it,” he says.  She recognizes what she’s feeling from him as certainty and clarity of purpose.  For the first time in a long while, he’s managed to convince himself that the path he’s on is the right one.  This worries her almost as much as the Emperor’s message.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hasn’t heard a word the Commander has said, but Rey’s unwanted companion is quiet long enough for her to hear D’Acy announce, “...and we’ll be updating you as more information becomes available.   We’ve prepared datapads with the relevant information for all senior staff members to review. My team should be seeking you out now if we’ve got one for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The meeting breaks up, and Rey drifts even further away from the knot of people at the center of the cave, and from anyone who might notice that she’s acting strangely.  He follows her like a shadow, walking beside her with his hands behind his back.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since you’re walking away, I assume it’s over.  Good.  Go somewhere we can talk.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stops at the entrance of the cave and gives him a look that she hopes says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I have no intention of doing what you tell me to. </span>
  </em>
  <span>When she looks back, there’s a young resistance fighter standing in front of her.  The girl has stars in her eyes, and she’s holding out a datapad to Rey.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“General Organa asked me to give this to you,” the girl says. She almost whispers Leia’s name, as if unable to believe that she’s actually been asked to do anything at all by </span>
  <em>
    <span>The </span>
  </em>
  <span>General.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey flicks her eyes over to Kylo.  If she can see objects he’s holding or touching- a First Order blanket, a glove, a lightsaber- then he can see what she has in her hands, too.  He peers quietly over her shoulder as if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>she’s about to be holding something of interest to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl is still holding the pad out to Rey, extending her arm further and further until the pad is about to bump into Rey’s chest. Rey shuffles backwards, and Kylo has to step quickly to get out of her way. He does so, still careful not to let her touch him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She puts her hand out to ward off the poor girl who doesn’t know that Rey the “Hero,” the Jedi-in-Training, is currently a security risk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t hand me that!” Rey says, more forcefully than she means to.  The girl’s eyes go wide. “You can… send it… to my quarters… I’ll look at it later.  Thank you.  Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girl doesn’t try to hand it to her again. Instead, she gives Rey one last odd look before catching sight of another senior staff member and chasing after them.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey walks even further into the shadows before she turns and glares up at him.  He’s not smiling.  No, it’s his ‘I want you to think I’m calm and have all the answers’ face,  but she can </span>
  <em>
    <span>see </span>
  </em>
  <span>the amusement in his eyes.  “Stop that,”  she snaps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did they want to hand you? It’s nothing I won’t know soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then you can wait.” Her voice rises above a whisper, and she carefully looks to see if anyone has noticed her talking to herself.  They haven’t, but Leia is heading in her direction, and the crowd is parting in front of the General.  She almost turns to tell him his mother is coming, just to see the look on his face, but when she looks behind her, he’s gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you made it,” Leia says when she gets close enough.  “Any thoughts?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think the First Order is behind this message,” Rey blurts out.  “It’s… a feeling.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leia raises an eyebrow.  “Feelings can tell us important things.  I think you’re right. Especially with D’Acy’s analysis of First Order movements in the hours after the broadcast.  It seems they were as confused as we were, if you know what to look for.” She taps the screen of the pad she’s holding, and Rey nods as if she’d been listening to the whole presentation.  “It’s all on the pad I had sent over to you.  The one… you should have by now.”  Leia rests a hand on Rey’s arm and peers at her intently.  Her gaze is just as unnerving as her son’s.  “Are you all right?  You’re jumpier than Theepio tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey sidesteps the question.  “If the Emperor is alive, that changes everything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It would explain why I’ve felt…” Leia closes her eyes for a while, searching for the words.  “A presence. Watchful. Not all the time, just sometimes… I felt it just now.” She looks at Rey as if waiting for her perspective.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey chooses her words carefully. She has, so far, managed not to lie outright to Leia about the fact that she’s seeing her son through the Force, and she’d like to keep it that way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I felt it too,” she says carefully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And if you felt...anything else vital to the Resistance, you’d tell me?” Leia asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her calculation goes like this: Kylo Ren hasn’t learned anything he wouldn’t know already through their connections, so they’re not a risk to the Resistance in that way. Also, she’s just shared the one thing he let slip that might be of use, and it’s a thing Intelligence had already figured out.  Everything else is just hope, disappointment, pain, and other feelings that are no one’s business but hers</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would,” Rey assures Leia.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leia nods and gives Rey’s arm a gentle squeeze.  “That’s good.”  As she leaves, she pushes her datapad into Rey’s hands.  “Here.  Take mine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey is still looking down at the now-harmless stream of data on the screen when Finn calls her name from where he and Poe are standing over by the mess tables that are starting to fill now that the meeting is over.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey!  Have you eaten yet? You were out there for </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her stomach rumbles, reminding her she hasn’t eaten since sunrise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not yet!” she calls back, and tucks the datapad into her bag as she goes to join her friends.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I laughed to myself a lot while writing this chapter. I almost called it "Don't Hand Me Things, with Apologies to Tony Stark."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Black Spire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Have you seen it?” Kylo demands again, holding a holo-projection of a Sith wayfinder level with Dok-Ondar’s cold, black eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Ithorian wants them all gone.  That much hasn’t changed since the moment a First Order patrol cleared out his antiquities shop ahead of their Supreme Leader’s arrival.  Now, there are two stormtroopers on either side of the counter, three more searching the shop and being none too gentle about it, and four keeping order on the street where a crowd is starting to gather. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is bad for business,” Dok-Ondar says sourly through the vocoder on his neck. “I’m known for my discretion, and you First Order types… are not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A trooper behind the counter looks to Kylo for guidance on how to respond to this insolence, and looks like he’s about to slam the butt of his rifle into the Ithorian’s leathery neck, but Kylo raises a hand to stop him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care where you got it.  I don’t care who sold it to you.  I want it, if you have it.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This gets Dok-Ondar’s attention.  “You’ll pay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll leave your shop without breaking any more of your antiques,” Kylo offers, nodding down at the Jedi temple guard’s mask in pieces on the floor, “and we won’t burn it down behind us.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Ithorian blanches to a lighter shade of pinkish tan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have it.  I don’t know who told you I have it, but they were wrong.” Dok-Ondar presses a button behind the counter and starts flipping through holo-projections of inventory until he stops on a familiar glowing pyramid.  “They must have seen this and been mistaken.”   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a Sith holocron.  Kylo has seen several of them in his time with Snoke.  Without warning, he reaches out and pulls a memory from Dok-Ondar’s mind.  Kylo only has to see the dull red surface of the dormant holocron to know that the shopkeeper is telling the truth.  It’s an easy mistake to make for someone who has never seen a wayfinder or a holocron, and the First Order informant who came to them with the tip hadn’t seen it for herself, but heard of it through rumors floating through her bar.  He releases his hold on the creature’s mind, and the Ithorian leans unsteadily on the counter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll take the holocron, then,” Kylo says.  While it wasn’t what he’d come for, any preserved Sith knowledge was a rare find, and his by right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I sold it to an off-worlder two weeks ago,” Dok-Ondar calmly informs him as he pulls himself back up to his full height.  “Didn’t get a name.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kylo brings his fist down on the transparisteel of the counter hard enough to shatter it, and the shards rain down on the relics nestled in their cases.  Then, he flicks his cloak behind him and stalks toward the entrance.  The troopers hustle to keep up.  The Ithorian stares balefully at their backs as they go, and Kylo slams the door, rattling it on its hinges.  He hears the satisfying crunch of something old and delicate breaking behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crowd outside scatters when they come out of the shop.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Back to the ship,” Kylo orders.  He’s already taking long strides in the direction of the First Order base where their shuttle is waiting. The wayfinder isn’t here, and they’ve spent long enough on this out of the way rock.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s not much to Black Spire, and it’s not a long walk. They skirt the edge of the shipyard and pass the outpost’s one cantina, which is spilling drunk customers onto the street.  Some of them sober at the sight of him and wisely go back inside. They pass vendors selling droids and trinkets and local foods, and they’re within sight of the shuttle when he sees her.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows she isn’t really there because Rey is standing against the grey mass of the First Order depot, directly underneath one of the red banners, and none of the Storm Troopers guarding the depot is trying to arrest her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t see him at first, and he pulls himself up short and puts out a hand to stop the storm troopers from running into him.  They’re well trained enough not to question the order. She looks… happy.  Relaxed.  She’s smiling as she points at something at waist level, and eating brightly colored balls of grain from a paper bag. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sees him at the same moment he realizes he know where he’s seen her food before: that exact combination of of orange and red and purple. It was at the covered market a few streets over.   The same market he’d walked through with his patrol earlier that morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw that stall… You’re here,” he says. “You’re in Black Spire.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey backs away from whatever stall she’s visiting, and to him, it looks like she backs into the alley between the depot and the next building.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me where you are.  I’ll come to you,” he says.  “We can’t both be here by chance.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somehow, knowing where she is triggers something in the bond, and he can suddenly sense how close she is, but nothing else.  It’s maddening.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t run.  We need to talk.”  It comes out like an order, and her face hardens.  “Please don’t…” he adds belatedly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not sure what he’s going to tell her if she listens.  Maybe he’ll tell her about the wayfinders, about his plan to find the Emperor and strike him down. Maybe then, she’ll accept the offer that he’ll make again to join him, and they’ll go together.  Maybe today is the day she’ll realize they’re stronger together than they are apart.   Besides, even if she runs, there are only so many places she can hide, if he can stop her from leaving the planet.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looks straight at him, her eyes full of fury, and reaches into her bag for her communicator. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone, pull back to the ship.  We have to go.  Kylo Ren is here. I repeat, Kylo Ren is </span>
  <em>
    <span>in Black Spire.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Watch for patrols, and get back </span>
  <em>
    <span>now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs heavily and meets her eyes one last time before he turns to the waiting storm troopers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The scavenger girl is at this outpost, and she’s not alone. That means the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon </span>
  </em>
  <span>can’t be far. Capture her and the any Resistance fighters you find and bring them to me.  And </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t let that ship get in the air!” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hears the clatter of the troopers fanning out to search behind him, but he doesn’t turn away from Rey until she seems to walk straight into the solid wall of the depot, and he knows the connection is broken.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Rey didn’t know better, she would swear that the Force had a sense of humor.  How else could she explain that sometimes, she could feel Ben Solo’s presence </span>
  <em>
    <span>so strongly </span>
  </em>
  <span>that she felt like she could point in his direction like the needle of an old fashioned compass, and a line drawn straight from her finger would travel across the galaxy and land squarely in the middle of his chest.  Other times, she doesn’t even realize he’s on the same planet in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>same little outpost </span>
  </em>
  <span>until the Force brings them together, and her delicious mid afternoon snack gives her location away because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he already passed the place selling it.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wants to run, but that would make her stick out.  The market is crowded, and there aren’t enough stormtroopers on Batuu to patrol every shop front.  Maybe she can blend in with the rest of the travelers and casually drift back to the shipyard were the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon </span>
  </em>
  <span>is waiting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her communicator crackles.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They know we’re here,” Poe says.  He’s breathing heavily, like he’s running. “How do they know we’re here?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kylo Ren saw me,” Rey says. This is not a lie.  He </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>see her.  They just hadn’t been in the same place when it happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think he knows why we’re here?” Finn’s voice comes through loud and clear.  He sounds calmer than Poe, and Rey hopes that means he’s already back at the ship. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He felt… frustrated.  Like he was already looking for something he didn’t find.  I don’t think he knows we’re after that data, or our contact.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we’re not getting it today,” Poe grumbles.  Stormtroopers are shouting for Poe to stop on his end, and she hears a blaster fire once.  Rey has to stop herself from yelling Poe’s name into her comm. No reason to draw attention to herself.  After a tense few seconds, she hears Poe’s voice again.  “I hope that Cantina owner likes character… because it’s got some blaster scoring now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewie growls over the comms for all three of them to stop talking and focus on getting back to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and her companions fall silent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey picks up the pace.  There are stormtroopers at the other end of the market, slowly working their way in her direction.  She pulls the hood of her tunic over her head.  It’s a dry, hot area.  Now, she’s just one more person in a light hood, not one of the most recognizable faces on Batuu. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, that doesn’t help her when Kylo Ren appears behind the storm troopers and starts coming straight for her.  He doesn’t try to yell across the market at her, but everything about the way he moves says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I see you, and I’m coming for you. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey breaks into a run. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She runs, and bitter disappointment flares in him as he follows.  The street that runs through the market is narrow, but local shoppers still somehow find a way to make a wide path for him and his stormtroopers as they pass.  She’s given up trying to blend in, now, and she’s making jumps no normal person could have managed, onto awnings and roofs, off of walls and back to street level.  She’s putting distance between them, and he picks up speed. The troopers with him will keep up, or not.  He doesn’t need them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t let her double back,” he orders as he leaves them behind.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’s on a rooftop two buildings ahead, but he can see her veering to the right, so he turns down the first alley that he sees in that direction and runs straight at the wall where it dead-ends, leaping to the roof at the last possible moment.  She almost crashes into him as she jumps over from the shop next door.  He steps to the side just in time and watches her land and roll.  She comes up a few feet away from him, spares him barely a glance over her shoulder, and keeps running.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kylo Ren is not used to being ignored.  He follows, black cloak billowing behind him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re all here. </span>
  <em>
    <span> Where are you?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Poe asks over Rey’s comm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is… </span>
  <em>
    <span>oof… </span>
  </em>
  <span> the ship ready?” Rey comes up from the crouch she landed in after making the two meter jump between a toy shop and a restaurant.  “Because it needs to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>ready </span>
  </em>
  <span>when I get there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s right behind you, isn’t he.” Finn’s voice makes it clear he isn’t asking a question. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m keeping him away from the ship until I’m ready to lead him there, all right?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hears the </span>
  <em>
    <span>thunk </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Kylo Ren’s heavy boots landing on the rooftop they now share, and she pivots to the right and jumps back down into a side street, grabbing onto a pipe sticking out of the wall on the way down and swinging herself forward.  He doesn’t even bother.  He jumps down as easily as most people take a single stair, lands hard, and runs after her.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her lightsaber is bumping against her leg with each stride, and her fingers close around it and unlatch it from her belt, ready to ignite it in case she needs to turn and fight.  She doesn’t think it will come to that, though.  She’s almost where she needs to be.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stormtrooper activity on the other end of the docking area!” Poe shouts.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the background, Chewie’s suggestion that she hurry if she can is laced with worry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see them!”  Rey yells, bursting out from between two buildings that border the landing pad.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are stormtroopers firing on the ship, but it’s nothing the shields can’t handle.  The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Millennium Falcon </span>
  </em>
  <span>is already in the air, hovering impatiently, loading doors barely touching the ground.  Kylo Ren is close behind as Rey sprints towards the ship, but she finds one last burst of speed.  Finn runs out onto the loading door and fires at Rey’s pursuer once or twice before holstering his blaster and holding out his hand to her.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>Falcon’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>doors are a meter and a half off the ground and rising when Rey makes the jump, and she holds tightly onto Finn’s hand as the ship veers up sharply into the atmosphere.  The last thing she sees as the doors close is Kylo Ren, staring up at her, still as a statue.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've had the opportunity to go to the Disneyland Galaxy's Edge a couple of times, and I was hoping I'd get to go one more time for inspiration before I wrote this, but then Disneyland closed. (And for good reasons!) Still, I had a lot of fun researching little references to drop in. I hope you enjoyed this little trip of Rey and Kylo's, even if it wasn't as fun as actually being there.  Next time I go, I'm getting some of that brightly colored popcorn because I've never gotten to try it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Push</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time he ordered the Knights of Ren to spar with him and his new lightsaber shortly after he became their leader, they obeyed, but they were were wary.   </p><p>“Ren… the old one… never made us do that,” one of them grumbled before they began, eyeing the crossed hilt at Kylo’s side. </p><p>“The Old Ren was a fool, or he was lazy,” Kyo snapped.  “Besting those who are no match for me is easy. Besting a trained opponent is harder.  He got soft, and didn’t see the danger until I came to kill him. I will not be soft.” </p><p>“What’s to keep you from killing us?” another asked.  </p><p>He was ready for this argument. He’d guessed that they would take some convincing. “You believe this blade is pure power, and the wielder does with it what they <em> want </em> .” Kylo ignited his lightsaber and let the glow bathe his face.  The gathered Knights all took a step back.  “Do nothing to make me <em> want </em>to kill you, and you’ll be safe enough.” </p><p>That seemed to satisfy them, and they came at him with weapons raised. </p><p>Snoke had misgivings as well.  </p><p>“Are you sure this is wise?” he asked Kylo once when the two of them were alone. “You killed their leader.  One of them might think to replace <em> you </em>in turn.” </p><p>“They fear my lightsaber too much to try,” Kylo explained. “And they know if one of them tried and failed, I’d kill him.” </p><p>Snoke drummed his gnarled fingers on the arm of his chair as he considered his apprentice. “And you don’t fear that one of them might try and succeed?” </p><p>“Does the sun have a reason to fear a candle?” Kylo asked. </p><p>Snoke laughed, his whole decrepit body shaking with the exertion, and Kylo knew he had won his master’s approval.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Even now, the Knights still fear his red blade.   </p><p>He can feel their fear - it is a hidden current underneath the rage and hatred that fuels their stunted connection to the Dark Side.  Their fear does not make them any less fierce when he calls for them to face him, though, and he is proud of them for that.  There are five of them today, and two of them are already on the floor of his private training room, lying where they fell when he disarmed them and had them at his mercy.  The other three circle him slowly, looking for a weakness.  He gives them nothing. </p><p>The ship is less than a day from Mustafar, and he doesn’t know what he’ll find there, guarding his grandfather’s wayfinder. He wants to be ready.  </p><p>He feels like an idiot for not thinking of Darth Vader’s fortress planet first. It had seemed too obvious. His grandfather would not have hidden such a valuable artifact in the first place anyone would look.  But then, he’d learned of the cultists who worshiped his grandfather, and how they had hidden on Mustafar after Vader’s failure.  In a stroke of luck, he’d caught one of them off planet and dug the information out of the cultist’s mind. One of <em> them </em>had brought the wayfinder to the ruins of Vader’s stronghold, and Kylo Ren meant to find it and claim it for his own. </p><p>The Knights know there’s a real fight on the horizon, and while it makes them fierce, it also makes them restless and sloppy.  Kylo could have killed each of the three men still standing several times if he’d wanted to take the trouble to replace them.  But they are all he has.  It’s not their fault they aren’t his equals, but he finds himself wondering what it would be like to train with someone who could give him a true challenge, someone whose connection to the Force is strong and clear instead of weak and twisted. </p><p>
  <em> What would it be like to train with Rey? </em>
</p><p>He’s wondered this before, from the moment he told her she needed a teacher, but this time he shoves the thought out of his mind.  She <em> ran from him </em>when she saw him last, the anger he feels towards her is useless to him, for it is laced with pain and loneliness.</p><p>One of the Knights takes a savage swing at Kylo’s chest, and he blocks the long-hafted weapon with the main blade of his lightsaber, catches the handle on the crossgaurd, and flicks his wrist.  The weapon goes skittering across the floor.  The Knight, now empty-handed, tries to step inside his range and knock him to the ground, but Kylo pushes him back with the Force so hard he knocks into the back wall of the training room.  The Knight is stunned, but he’s on his feet quicker than a normal man would have been.  Kylo is faster.  He comes at the Knight with the red lightsaber still on, and only turns it off a split second before it would have gone through the other man’s eye, helmet or no.  He presses the hilt against the Knight’s forehead, reveling in the victory, even if it was an easy one. </p><p>“You’re down,” he whispers.  </p><p>Kylo feels relief washing over the Knight who is slumping to the ground, but he’s already whirling to face the other two.  </p><p>They are coming at him, weapons raised, but he barely notices them. </p><p>All he can see is Rey. She is there with him, her lightsaber ignited, breathing hard. </p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Rey really needs to thank whoever Leia found to reprogram the training droid.  She’d memorized all of its old attack patterns, and it had been getting very predictable.  The new ones are… less so.  It’s not the same, though, as having a real opponent, someone using a blade instead of automated blaster fire.  The first time she used Luke’s lightsaber on the Starkiller Base, she’d faced someone bigger, older, and years ahead of her in training, and not only had she <em> survived, </em> she’d <em> won. </em>She supposes it’s really not a surprise that a training droid is becoming less and less of a challenge as her skills mature.  </p><p>She’s tried to get Leia to fight with her, just using practice staffs, just slowly, but the General demures every time.  “I’m too old for things like that,” she says, and reminds Rey to make some correction to her stance, or her form.  </p><p>She’s tried to get Finn to fight with her, but he’s often gone with Poe, and when he’s on base, he’s usually exhausted, or hurt, or both. Also, she suspects the kind of sparring partner she needs brings up too many bad memories of his time as a stormtrooper, and so she’s stopped asking. </p><p>Rey blocks one of the droid’s tiny, stinging beams, narrowly escaping a hit to her shoulder. </p><p>“How…” she swings her lightsaber around and falls into a defensive crouch, blocking two more beams on the way down, “am I supposed to prepare for a real fight….” </p><p>She lets the the droid circle her, studying its movements, feeling the flow of the Force and looking for an opening. </p><p>“...if no one <em> real </em> will fight with me?” </p><p>The droid turns slightly, exposing one of its vulnerable panels, and Rey darts forward.  The droid sends a burst of fire out of multiple weapons ports, but she blocks them all, and reflects the last two right back into the kill panel that ends the training simulation.  The droid beeps weakly to acknowledge defeat, goes dead, and falls to the ground. </p><p>Rey is about to turn her lightsaber off when she sees him.  He doesn’t have the mask on, or the cape, and his dark hair is damp with sweat.  Whatever fight he’s found himself in, he’s been at it for a while. </p><p>His back is to her, at first, and all she knows is that his lightsaber is ignited, and he’s swinging it in a deadly arc. </p><p>She almost calls out for him to stop, but she swallows the words.  She doesn’t know who he’s fighting, or where he is.  A distraction now might be the difference between life and death, and she meant it when she told him she doesn’t want him dead. Better to watch and wait until she knows more.  </p><p>At the end of his swing, he pauses, holds back.  Rey narrows her eyes. She knows what he looks like when he’s fighting to kill, and this is not it. While his blade touches his opponent’s, she briefly sees the shadow of one of the Knights of Ren.</p><p>They’re sparring.  </p><p>“Must be nice,” she mutters to herself, but not loudly enough for him to hear.  He still hasn’t seen her. </p><p>It doesn’t take him long to disarm his opponent and knock the knight down and out of the fight, and she’s still holding her attack stance when he finally sees her. He flings a hand out in front of him, and she doesn’t have to hear the muffled thud of bodies hitting a wall to know what happened. </p><p>He turns his head to one side and says, “Get out. We’re done.” </p><p>She can’t hear what the Knight of Ren says, but it gets a short, mean laugh from Kylo. </p><p>“I think we all know how it was going to end,” he says.  “I need you fresh for what’s to come. <em> Now leave. </em>”  </p><p>He he turns to watch them go, lightsaber still crackling at his side, and only when they’re gone does he acknowledge her presence. </p><p>“You’ve been training.  You’re stronger. More focused.  I can feel it.” </p><p>What she can feel from him is that he’s <em> impressed, </em>which is infuriating.  </p><p>“Can you feel that I’m going to stop you?” Her eyes narrow, but her heart can’t summon up the anger to go with it.</p><p>He goes still for a moment, as if listening for the answer in the silence, then says, “No.  I can feel that you’re frustrated.  You’re starting to push yourself, but...” His smile is smug and insufferable. “Did my mother find an old droid for you? Are you tired of it yet?” </p><p>“Are you tired of fighting only those you know you can beat?” she shoots back. </p><p>“I’d rather train with you,” he says, all pretense stripped from his voice.  The invitation and all of its possibility hangs in the air between them.  </p><p>Trust Kylo Ren to use genuineness as a weapon.  </p><p>“No.” She turns off her lightsaber and stalks towards him.  “You don’t get to do that.  You don’t get to <em> pretend that we’re friends. </em>” </p><p>“I agree. Whatever we are, we’re more than that.”  He mirrors her, turning off his own lightsaber and hanging it from his belt, and waits for her to come to him. </p><p>“We are <em>nothing </em>while you still lead the First Order.”  She is arm’s length from him, and the anger comes sure and strong now. “Do you know what <em>your</em> <em>Order</em> did yesterday?  The system it took?” </p><p>“Which one?” he asks blandly.  </p><p>“The Nyrian System.  It had a small fleet, crewed mostly by civilian volunteers, a fraction of the firepower you sent to take it, and your ships…” </p><p>“Destroyed the entire fleet and their shipyards when they were given the chance to surrender and refused,” he finishes for her.  “My generals don’t believe in leaving loose ends behind us, and neither do I.” </p><p>“Did you know that <em> half the adult population of the system </em>was on those ships?” </p><p>“They should have surrendered,” he says, but his eyes flick downward for a moment, uncertain. </p><p>“You <em> didn’t know, </em> did you? Or worse, you didn’t care.  <em> This. </em>This is why we can’t be friends!” </p><p>She sees the hurt in his eyes before he gets control of himself.  Not a lot of people would have noticed, and she’s not sure what it means that she did. </p><p>“I don’t take pleasure in their deaths,” he says, and she knows that he’s telling the truth.  Somehow, that makes it worse, not better. “I mean to rule the galaxy, <em> all of it, </em>and when systems resist the First Order, there will be casualties.  Eventually, I’ll take them all, even the system where you are, wherever that is, and you’ll have nowhere left to run.  Then, we’ll really talk.” </p><p>He speaks as if it’s a path already laid out for them, inevitable and inexorable as water running to the sea..  He’s wrong, though.  He <em> must </em>be wrong. </p><p>“And what will you do if you catch me?” she asks, tipping her chin up to look him in the eye.  “Put me in a cage?” </p><p>He doesn’t answer immediately, and the silence stretches between them and pulls taut.  It breaks when he lays a bare hand on the side of her neck, thumb resting lightly on her throat and fingers circling her nape.   </p><p>“Only if I have to.”</p><p>He makes the threat with unsettling gentleness.  His hand is warm on her skin, and she wonders if he realizes what he’s done.  By unspoken agreement, they haven’t touched each other since Ahch-to, and this is more than a graze of fingertips.  He is solid and <em> real, </em>and when he touches her, the bond between them flares up.   She can sense the fear, desire, and determination that drives him.  And she knows he means what he just said. </p><p>“No,” she says firmly, meeting his eyes with a resolve as fierce as his.  “You <em> will not cage me </em>.”</p><p>Mirroring a gesture he used earlier, she pushes sharply against him with the Force, never stopping to think about the fact that he’s not really there.  Turns out, it doesn’t matter. He goes flying backwards.  Shock hums through the bond for a moment, but he hits the ground, rolls, and comes up in a crouch, hand on his lightsaber hilt. She should have pushed him harder.  </p><p>Rey’s hand goes to her neck, fingers brushing where he touched her, and they lock eyes across the space that separates them. </p><p>“That’s new,” he observes. </p><p>He flings his hand out and pushes at her with the Force.  It’s more of a nudge than a push, really, and she only stumbles back a step.  </p><p>She regains her footing and unhooks her lightsaber.  He watches her intently.  His initial surprise has mellowed into curiosity, and she can almost hear him trying to figure out how they’re able to move each other across the vastness of the galaxy. </p><p>“You can push me.  I can push you. What now?” he asks. </p><p>As an answer, Rey ignites her lightsaber. </p><p>“You won’t touch me again,” she says.  </p><p>He ignores her angry declaration. </p><p>“You think the Force will let us fight while we’re connected?” he asks.  He draws his eyebrows together, contemplating his own question.  “If it lets <em> us </em>touch…” He flicks the switch on his hilt, and the right side of his face is bathed in an angry red glow.  </p><p>Rey raises her weapon to defend herself.  She should be afraid.  And she is, a little.  But more than that, she’s curious, and shamefully excited.  This feels <em> right. </em>Learning with him, testing herself against him. This is the way things should be.  Could have been. Might be.   </p><p>And then she sees his face.  She’s seen Kylo Ren come close to smiling once before, and he’s <em> almost </em>doing it again now.  It barely touches his eyes, but she can see the shadow of what it must have been like when he was happy.  </p><p><em> I would like to see Ben smile, </em> Rey thinks.  She lets that little flame of hope burn bright for a moment, pass through her, give her strength.  She knows it’s a wish that would unsettle him, and that makes <em> her </em>smile.  </p><p>Kylo Ren flips his lightsaber around behind him, and then up to a ready position.  It’s a move that’s prettier than it is useful, she knows now, and she waits for him to finish showing off. </p><p>“Are you somewhere safe?” he asks.  They begin to circle each other, and he matches her footwork step for step to keep an even distance.  </p><p>“Why?” she demands. </p><p>“I still can’t see your surroundings. If I throw you against a wall, I don’t want to crack your skull open against a sharp rock.” </p><p>She bares her teeth at him.  “If I cut you, are your droids close enough to stop you bleeding to death?” </p><p>“They are. But you won’t,” Kylo says. </p><p>The entire world has shrunk down to the two of them, and Rey does what Leia has taught her, finding her center even as she moves, feeling the Force flowing through her and between her and her opponent.  If Kylo Ren thinks she’ll give him an easy victory, he’s as wrong about that as he is about so many other things. </p><p>She can’t wait to show him just how wrong he is.  </p><p>He puts one foot back, and leans forward.  She waits.  Lets his impatience force him to make the first move.  She senses the subtle shift in him as he starts to lunge toward her, moves her blade to meet him…</p><p>And he’s gone.  </p><p>“Rey!” </p><p>Leia’s voice is still far away, but the shock of it jolts Rey back to the wider world.  The clearing on Ajan Kloss where she trains with the droid is empty except for her when Leia emerges from a break in the thick trees.</p><p>“Trying out the new training simulations?” Leia asks, bending to scoop up the deactivated droid. </p><p>“Yes… they’re good.  Much better,” Rey says.</p><p>Leia isn’t fooled by Rey’s bright smile.  </p><p>“Why don’t you come and sit with me,” Leia says.  </p><p>They link arms and go to sit on a fallen log at the edge of the clearing. </p><p>“I came all the way out here because I could feel… you were upset,” Leia begins.  “I can usually feel you in the background, when I try to, but this was different.  Stronger.  Anger, loss, sadness... I worried you were hurt, but then....” </p><p>“I’m fine.  Really,” Rey assures her before Leia can look too hard for words to describe the rest of what had happened.   </p><p>Again, she wrestles with the burden of hiding the truth from Leia.  What she wants to say is,  <em> I’ve been talking to your son through the Force for months.  I know what he looks like when he wakes up scared and alone. I know how hard he has to work to keep choosing anger and despair, and what it is costing him to do it.  I know that even now the Dark Side has not won him completely. Every time I see him, I have a stubborn hope that he might still turn back to the Light, but I can’t tell you any of this because I know how much it will hurt you if I’m wrong.  </em></p><p>Instead, she says, “You said the Force would show me things.  And… you were right. I was training and... it showed me something I don’t understand.  It makes me feel all of those things you said, and other emotions, too.” </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Leia offers. </p><p>“Not really.”  Rey is relieved when Leia nods.  Luke would have pressed her, but Leia is content to let things lie dormant, to let Rey share when she was ready.  </p><p>After they’ve sat in silence for a while, watching the sun dip behind the trees on the other side of the clearing, Rey says, “It’s just that… I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do with… what I see.  I thought I knew what to do, once.  And I was wrong.”  She thought she’d turned Ben Solo back to the Light, but instead, she’d helped him become Supreme Leader of the First Order.</p><p>“It never gets clearer.  The Force, I mean,” Leia tells her, “but you’ll learn to trust yourself more.  Here. Close your eyes." </p><p>Rey lets her eyes fall closed. </p><p>“You don’t have to tell me what you saw, but… what do you feel when you think about it now?” </p><p>They’ve practiced this.  Rey lets herself sink into her feelings, floating just on the surface of them, not judging, just perceiving.  She thinks of Kylo Ren telling her he’d cage her if he had to, but looking ashamed at the deaths he’d caused, even as he justified them.  She thinks of the conflict she’d sensed when he touched her, and the way he asked if she was safe even as he arrogantly assumed he’d beat her easily.  She thinks of how right it felt, just for a moment, for them to be together - testing each other, sharpening each other. </p><p>“I feel like… no matter how bad things look, hope is never wasted,” Rey says, and she feels the truth of it settle in her bones. </p><p>“No, it is not,” Leia agrees, then tosses the training droid into the air.  “Now, show me what you’ve been up to.” </p><p>Rey is off the log, lightsaber arcing through the air, before the droid even fires its first shot. </p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Kylo Ren steps back when Rey disappears, confusion and hurt threatening to crack his stoic expression.  For a moment, he could have sworn she was glad to be with him, but now she’s gone, and he is alone. </p><p><em> She didn’t choose to go any more than I did </em>, he tells himself. Neither of them has mastered the art of controlling their connections.  The Force, it seems, only shows them enough of each other to frustrate and confound, and he is tired of it.  </p><p>He yells wordlessly and throws his lightsaber against the wall of the training room, still lit.  It bounces off the cold, sleek metal, leaving black scoring behind, and clatters to the floor. </p><p>The door slides open, and one of the Knights strides into the room.  </p><p>“The Captain says we’ll be over Mustafar soon,” he announces. </p><p>Kylo Ren puts out his hand and calls his lightsaber to him.  The weapon shoots toward him, red blades crackling, and hits his palm so hard it stings.  He takes the pain, accepts it, curls his fingers around the hilt, and turns it off.  </p><p>“Make sure the shuttle’s ready,” he commands.  As he leaves, he grabs the black cloak hanging by the door and tosses it over his shoulders.  The other Knights are waiting for him in the hall, and they fall in behind him as he passes. </p><p>Mustafar’s surface is visible through the shuttle bay door, and Kylo contemplates the swirling, reddish grey clouds before boarding his waiting ship.  He thought it would feel momentous, <em> important </em> , the first time he gazed down on the planet that Darth Vader had made his own, but instead, he feels like a fool.  All he can feel that Mustafar is strong with the Dark Side, but any idiot with sensitivity to the Force would have known <em> that </em>. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting.  Some sign that Vader was with him?  Some sense of welcome to a place where his grandfather had spent so much time? But there’s nothing.  Instead, Kylo feels as empty as the vast plains of cooling lava down below.  </p><p>He shakes his head angrily.  He has a suspicion as to why he feels this way, and it has nothing to do with Vader.  His mind needs to be<em> here, now, </em> and it’s not.  He is still wherever <em> she </em> is, in the moment before their connection broke, and if he’s not careful, it will cloud his judgment.  Not so long ago, he would have tried to hate her, to banish her from his thoughts forever.  It’s what his master would have wanted.  But he has no master now. So instead, he makes a promise - to Rey and to himself - before he leads the Knights down to the settlement where the wayfinder is hidden. </p><p><em>Not today, but soon. </em> </p><p>
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